War! What is it good for?

Now, I am not talking about WWI, WWII, the Korean War, the Vietnam conflict, or the current Global War on terrorism. I'm not talking about the song either. What I am talking about is a parents most feared war to find their children participating in. BB Gun wars. Now I already now what you guys are thinking. Oh god, you'll shoot your eye out.

The desire to own a BB gun started from my favorite movie. A Christmas Story. Yeah I know. If you remember it was pretty much about Ralphy fantasizing about getting a double pump single action Red Ryder BB gun from Santa Claus. At one point in the movie he dreamt about is family was going to get over ran by a bunch of henchmen (my favorite scene) and he comes out of nowhere dressed as a cowboy to save his family with his Red Ryder BB gun. Well I have to blame this movie for building my desire to get a BB gun. But as you all know or can imagine, I was quit the trouble maker growing up. So the thought of me getting a BB gun was definitely out of the question. Since I was the second child what I got was pretty much matched up with what my older brother got two years before me. So I just couldn't wait to turn 13, I knew I was going to get a BB gun. Well I turned 13 and against my parents will, they gave in and got me a BB gun. I was so excited, that now I get to pretend to be like Ralphy. So I strategically placed empty soda cans throughout the backyard. I had a pre-designated firing platform approved by my parents to shoot from. I mean what parent in their right mind would give a BB gun to a 13 and let them run around with it. So I had somewhat of an adult supervision. My mom was able to watch what I was doing from the kitchen.

So as I lived out my fantasy of playing Ralphy over the years. I decided it was time to move on to much harder targets. Well what other challenges can I come up with. Hahahaha. So after I turned 15 or so, my parents decided to leave me and my older brother home alone while the rest of the family went on a road trip. Well no sooner did they leave did my neighbor Tim show up. Well about the same time I had taken my BB gun out against my parents knowing, right after my mom told me that I had to wait until they came back to shoot it. So I figured that if they are gone how will they know if I am shooting my BB gun. Well as I was doing some target practice Tim and I came up with this great idea to have a BB gun war. So we got on opposite sides of the yard and started taking shots at each other. So Tim hit me a couple of times in my arms, no big deal it didn't hurt. Besides they were some really weak BB gun that weren't suppose to penetrate a tin can. Yeah right. So as Tim was shooting at me, I was waiting for the perfect shot. One shot. One kill. So Tim pops up from behind the trailer to see where I had moved to, but I didn't move. In fact I had sighted him in and pulled the trigger. Hitting him right below the eye breaking the skin. Tim dropped his gun and I started to shoot him multiple times until he would yell I quit. Well in the time it took me to hit him 5 or 6 times guess who shows up. Yeah my mom. I guess she forgot her purse in her room.

We probably wouldn't of gotten caught if Tim wasn't Yelling obscenities at me. For it drew my mother's attention to the backyard. It didn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together to figure out what we were doing. Yeah well after getting my butt whipped by my mom my dad and to get his. But this was one of the few times where I knew he wanted to beat me and he didn't. Instead he hurt me way worse than my mom did. He actually took my BB gun and smashed into a thousand little pieces. Man was I pissed. Deep down inside I knew I deserved it. So now that my wife knows about this story I highly doubt she will allow me to get my son a BB gun. It is okay I understand. So when my boys get older I will buy them each the much safer and probably a lot more fun paint ball guns. As long as they don't ain't my car a new color I think everything will be all right. I hope you all enjoyed another moment in Chris' childhood.